Starting counselling can feel like a big step.
Not because you don’t long for support, but because you are so used to managing on your own. When you have spent so much of your life holding everything together, reaching out can feel unfamiliar. Maybe even unsafe.
Many people I meet here in Bodmin have been thinking about counselling for months, sometimes years. And yet they often find themselves wondering:
“Are my difficulties serious enough?
“Should I be coping better than this?”
“Other people have it so much worse. Am I just making a fuss about nothing?”
“Isn’t it self-indulgent?”
You may have changed your mind several times before finally deciding to book a session.
If any of this sounds familiar, please, know you're not alone. Many of the people I work with arrive carrying not only their struggles, but also a quiet uncertainty about whether they even have the right to bring those struggles into the room.
Before We Meet
I still remember how I was feeling before my first counselling session as a client.
I wondered what the therapist might be like. Whether I'd feel comfortable with them. Whether I'd even know what to say.
I wanted help, yet I felt nervous about receiving it.
So if you're feeling apprehensive before our first meeting, I understand why.
Starting counselling means meeting someone new and speaking about parts of your life that may have needed to be protected and hidden away for a long time. That takes immense courage, even if it doesn't feel like courage from the inside.
You don't need to arrive feeling confident or certain.
You don't need to have your thoughts organised.
You don't need to know exactly what you want to work on.
You only need to arrive as you are.
What It Will Be Like to Meet Me
Many people worry about being judged. For those who learned to keep the peace while growing up, this worry isn’t always loud and clear. It’s often quiet and internal:
"What if my problems sound silly?"
"What if I get emotional?"
"What if I don't make sense?"
"What if I'm too much?"
"What if I'm not enough?"
If these concerns are present for you, I won't see them as obstacles. I'll see them as part of your experience.
Over the years, many people learn to hide parts of themselves in order to feel accepted and safe, keep the peace, or maintain relationships. They become very good at appearing okay while carrying a great deal beneath the surface.
My role is not to judge those adaptations.
My role is to get curious about them with you.
Rather than asking, "What's wrong with you?", I tend to wonder, "What has happened in your life that made this response necessary?"
The difficulties you're experiencing today often began as ingenious ways of coping with circumstances that were painful or overwhelming.
I don't see those responses as evidence that something is wrong with you.
I see them as a deeply human responses – ways your mind and body learned to protect you when life asked more of you than you could reasonably carry alone.
What Happens During the First Session?
The first session is simply a chance for us to begin getting to know one another.
We'll talk about what has brought you to counselling and what you hope might feel different. There is no pressure to tell me everything. We don't need to unpack your entire history in one meeting. We'll move at a pace that feels manageable for you.
I'll explain a little about how I work and answer any questions you may have. This is your opportunity to get a sense of me, just as it's mine to get a sense of you.
Not every counsellor is the right fit for every person, and that's okay. The first session is partly about discovering whether working together feels right for both of us.
If we decide to continue, we'll also discuss practicalities – such as confidentiality, session times, fees – towards the end.
What You Might Feel Afterwards
People often imagine they'll walk out of their first counselling session knowing exactly how they feel about it. Sometimes they do. Often, they don't.
You might feel relieved.
You might feel hopeful.
You might feel emotional.
You might feel physically tired.
You might feel uncertain.
You might feel exposed.
You might feel several conflicting things at once.
Whatever your response, there is no “right” way to feel.
Counselling rarely begins with a breakthrough in the first fifty minutes. More often, it begins with creating enough safety for a different kind of conversation to become possible – a conversation where your thoughts, feelings, needs, and experiences finally have a safe place to land.
A Final Thought
If you're reading this and considering counselling, I imagine there is a reason.
Perhaps something in your life feels difficult.
Perhaps you're tired of carrying things on your own.
Perhaps there is a quiet part of you that senses things could be different, even if you don't yet know how.
Whatever has brought you to my page, you don't need to convince me that your struggles are important enough to warrant attention.
If they're important to you, they're worth paying attention to.
And if you decide that now is the right time, I'll be here.